Where’s the bottle?

From a personal point of view my managerial attributes are improving and I am close to maxing out my coaching qualifications. Still completely mystified as to how or why I am managing Chelsea but I am enjoying it.

If we evaluate last season on the whole, yes it was disappointing. Cup wise we were very poor but at least in the league we pushed Manchester United all the way. With the amount of young talent brought into the club, my second season was always going to be a tricky one to negotiate. I’d argue the third and fourth seasons would be too as the players need time to develop together.

We didn’t start too badly to be perfectly honest but the Premier League season is a marathon and not a sprint. Maintaining a good run of form is vital but we all know that. Top of the league is something to be proud of but fans and followers alike will wonder if we choke this season yet again.

My first trophy at Chelsea was the EFL Cup after we beat Crystal Palace 2-0. We were never really troubled during the game with Kurt Zouma powering a header home late in the first half to give us the lead. Gabriel Jesus answered my call in the second half to kill the game off and he did with a delightful volley in the 84th minute.

Despite winning the EFL Cup it was at the expense of our league form. Losing to teams we really shouldn’t have lost too didn’t help the situation, nor did my squad’s lack of experience in certain areas of the pitch. We did however, beat Manchester United 2-0 in the quarter final of the FA Cup in my 100th Chelsea game in charge. We subsequently beat Middlesbrough 3-1 in the semi-final which was a good thing. Before the game I received this message…

Abramovich was losing patience with me and I was losing patience with him and his stupidity. I just can’t understand his lack of long term vision. When we beat Middlesbrough the goalscorers were Seri, Jesus and Chelsea’s very own Tammy Abraham. I told the lads before the game what utter shit Roman had been saying to me and they stepped up to book another place at Wembley. Southampton would be the victims of a mighty assault as I looked to secure my second trophy as Chelsea manager.

My boys truly delivered in fine fashion as speculation surrounding my position at the club continued to whirl around Stamford Bridge.  FA Cup winners and regardless of what happens now I can be very happy with the progress we made trophy wise this season. We still qualified for the Champions League in fourth place but we finished so far behind Manchester United that some doubters were given more ammunition to shoot me with. I’d argue that Manchester United were just far too good for everyone, not just me.

Despite my FA Cup victory the board wanted me to meet with them to discuss my low performance this season. I have to say, I was outraged at such a thought so I told them to shove it where the sun don’t shine and well…this happened.

Where too next?

(For awesome screenshots I’d recommended Gyazo. I’ve started using it and it’s a fantastic tool).

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